Hey everyone!!!
So I've been really upset these past few days and I have been trying to put on a good face and act like everything is okay but really I'm dying on the inside and I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me. I mean, I'm not fighting with my best friend, in fact things between the two of us have been really great. I'm on good terms with my friends, which is a rare thing for me since I'm generally a disagreeable person. I have a great boyfriend who bought me Taco Bell (my favorite fast food) this morning and has been sharing his cigarettes with me since I haven't been able to buy them for myself after I ran out. I'm talking to my parents like we are all adults and without raising my voice which is the most incredible thing and the most rare of all things in my life. I just. I don't know, I mean, could I just be anxious that this is the calm before the storm? Am I jumping the gun a little? I mean, I can't really think of a time where life has been much better than it is right now. I want to be okay and enjoy the quiet that has become my life, but I just can't help but want to scream and kick and cry because I'm not happy. I don't know what the hell my problem is, but I can't seem to just be happy. Yesterday I actually did break down. I'm not sure how it happened, but one moment I was sitting in my room working on simple math problems the next minuet I'm hugging my pillow and trying to muffle my sobs so my dad doesn't hear them. That's not normal.
Yeah so I think there is something wrong with me, maybe I'm just mental haha that would explain a lot ^-^ I've been listening to this song on repeat almost nonstop the last few days, that might have something to do with my depression as well...
Click Here to Hear the Song I have Been Obsessing Over
Anyway, So I took a test in Math on Monday and got the result on Wednesday. I got the only 100% in the class and the first thing I did after leaving class was head off to the smokers tables to have a celebratory burning of the scantron XD I set it on fire and placed it in the ashtray while my friends and I all watched it burn. That truly was a happy moment for me, one of the highlights from my week :)
Well, I'm going to head out now, do something productive with my life.
Time to work out until I can't move lol
Stay Beautiful
^-^
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