I woke up this morning and something felt off. Not something, everything. As I walked through the house for my morning shower, it was as though my body were moving without my brain saying where to go or what to do. This isn't anything new to me, seeing as mornings and I don't normally get along, but this time it was different. I attended church, but I still felt no more control over my actions than earlier this morning. It was the same through lunch.
My boyfriend came over after lunch and we painted and took a long walk around my neighborhood and surrounding area. I had control over my words, even control over my actions, but I still felt as though I were watching everything take place somewhere else, on a screen or in a book. I'm not trying to say that my life is a story being written out or anything like that, I'm saying that this is what it felt like.
By the time I had taken my boyfriend home it was almost 10, and on the drive back to my place, I spotted a truck on the side of the road. There was a young man standing nearby and he gave me a look of lost confusion. I got home raced to my father and told him to help the guy out since he was so close to our house. He agreed and went with a few conditions.
1 I stay in the vehicle with the doors locked and windows rolled up
2 I talk only to him
3 First sign of trouble I hit the gas and get out of there as fast as possible and call 9-1-1
It wasn't until after we had finished and returned home that he told me he had taken his gun with him just in case.
Though I got to help someone today, I still feel as though my day was a bit off. Something wasn't quite right. I'm not sure how else to describe it.
I sent a text to my Bestie today, trying to describe my day. It came out like this:
"All day I have felt as though watching it all happen through a glass. Although I can see only from my point of view, I felt in a daze throughout each passing event."
That's the best way I have come up with to describe my day and how I have felt.
(No work out today, just the long walk with my boyfriend and that's it)
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